After completing the  valentine's day project, all of my demons came racing to the surface, not right away, but over a period of the next few days. They came scratching at the inner walls of my being bring with it meaningless self doubt, worry and my worse fear, rejection. Because after it's all said and done, "what will people think of me?" This was the reason I created and planned this project in the first place. I wanted to live outside of my comfort zone. I wanted to love myself more then the possibility of rejection. I wanted to have the courage to love my sexuality openly as the opportunity was ideally available to me. I wanted to act on my vision because I never do, instead I'd just be content with being ordinary. However, that's not who God created me to be and I am starting to realize that more and more with each passing day. I was born with vision, an imagination so broad and so vast that I cannot even began to explain it to you. It's my talent.  

I found a spot not far from the Singing Oak, near Big Lake and the Wave of the World in City Park. Once I settled down onto the grass under a huge live oak tree; I began to take in the scenery. There was a cool fresh feeling to the day. That feeling right before the wonderful days of fall. My favorite time of the year by the way. And no, it’s not just because I was born a week before the September Equinox (the beginning of the fall season). However, it is a plus none the less!

I fell in love with fall because of the cool windy weather and the crisp smell of colorful autumn leaves falling from trees. It’s the perfect weather for joy rides with the windows down, the sunroof back, and your favorite beats blaring. The season for counting down to my dearest holiday of the year. Christmas, where you can give until it almost hurts. While on the subject, I absolutely adore giving! And the fact that you can give so freely without people visualizing sucker written across your forehead is weirdly liberating for me… Go figure! It’s free rein when you are in the season of generosity. This is the time of year that marks the most rewarding and joyful of family interaction that is very important to me, where we all come together, plan, cook, and share our cherished experiences from the year passing. Fall, I love you…

I came here, not far from the Singing Oak, so that I could reflect on where I have been and to focus on where I want to go. Reflection is a necessity in life, but it is also an important part of goal setting. First, you have to understand where you have been. Next, you must find out what you have learned. And finally, you need to know what it is you want to take away with you in order to grow in a more radiant, yet fruitful direction. I always reflect before I set any new goal. It helps me to be clear and focused on what is next. There should consistently be a “what’s next” mentality. Where are you trying to go? What goals are you trying to achieve? How can you make those goals happen?

“What’s next?”