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CHICLY SOIGNÉ BON VIVEUR

A Conversation: "Black Is King"

8/1/2020

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At the end of June 2020, a video was released to an Instagram account owned by musicians Chole X Halle (a sister duo managed by Parkwood Entertainment). Chatter swarmed the internet of a possible leak. It was a trailer for “Black Is King” a passion project Beyoncé Knowles Carter had been working on for about a year. By June 28th Beyoncé officially posted the trailer to her Instagram account along with Disney+ who posted to Twitter, and the backlash from the African community began. Seventy seconds created a psychological divide between Black Americans and Africans. Seventy seconds was all it took for what Beyoncé intended to unify us, in our shared ancestry, to be criticized and judged as being the appropriation of African culture.

The response from some Africans were disappointing to many black Americans, however not completely surprising. Africans and Black Americans embody a genetic link and tie to Africa that should unify them both historically and psychologically, yet the need to identify with and assimilate into western society seems to be more rewarding for the current generation of Africans. Stating, “We are “normal” people who wear jeans and own iPhones.” “I’m tired of the way African countries are often portrayed in American screens.” “There is this constant joke that Africans wake up and see animals running around.”
In a dissertation written by Adaobi Chiamaka Iheduru entitled Examining the Social Distance Between Africans and African Americans: The Role of Internalized Racism, Iheduru mentions that African Americans are resistant to identifying with their African ancestry based on messages internalized from a European dominated colonial experience that has been sustained by race-based intrapsychic processes. If that indeed is the case, why are African Americans being rejected from its African lineage? In the effort to connect to their roots, African Americans have been met with opposition from their African “brothers” and “sisters.” So, what should feel like a going home is instead met with a feeling of exclusion from the African Diaspora. The descendants of Africans in the United States have gone through the most horrific psychological destruction of their identity. Black Americans are more assimilated to white culture in terms of the way they see themselves and move through the social world. What African Americans know of their ancestry has been taught to them mainly through the eyes of their oppressors. None the less, Africans place the blame on Black Americans saying they are culturally watered down, yet at the same time distancing themselves for them. When Black Americans got excited to see black women hold the crown in all National Beauty Pageants in America, no matter their ethnicity, they were ridiculed and criticized for being attention seekers by Africans. Why is that?

The experience of slavery and colonialism has continued to have a negative impact on the self-identity of people of African descent which suggests a social economic inferiority in relation to the dominate western culture. I believe this has increased the need for Africans to be recognized as separate from Black Americans whose self-identity is strongly tied to American slavery and systematic racism. By showcasing and identifying with a more westernized image they reject their “blackness” and their connection to African Americans through their shared ancestry and history, projecting internalized racism created from years of colonialism and centuries of slavery. Africans do this in hopes of escaping the struggles, oppression and suffering that racism has caused for many black Americans.

This event has opened a conversation that must be had. Most Africans have no idea of the way in which they interacted with other tribes on the African continent pre colonialism. Many Africans have a strong sense of division from other tribes in Africa. Yet, its people were once called a people with no history because it was not written before colonialism. Their very nature, regarding how they interact with others in the Diaspora may not even be authentic to the nature in which their ancestors interacted with one another because of what was destroy through colonial rule. When one is moved from a position of thriving to one where they are competing with their neighboring tribe for resource, believe me, the dynamic changes, and the road leads to a state of survival. Conflict is without a doubt the byproduct of scarcity and lack, which is better known as poverty.
How do we begin to bridge the gap in the African Diaspora? How do we heal the wounds of a people who have been ignored for far to long? Someone once said, change your expectations to appreciation because suffering comes from only thinking of yourself. With everything in the universe, there is always a delicate balance where we are all one. Individuals who are not apart of the Diaspora make claims of Africa never being united. Yet, I genuinely believe there was a reason to divide the land, which was to divide the people. How can others possibly know a history that the Diaspora itself knows not? It is time to come together and share those stories. It is time for history in the making.

The Talk:


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Alicia Burks

Alicia Burks is a Spiritual Teacher, Healer and Mindset Coach who expresses her talent and gifts through energy, alchemy and like a magician, wheels the beauty of the physical world to serve humanity.

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On my Mind: Pedophiles should have rights, are you fucking kidding me!?

1/24/2018

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I took a social movements class one semester in my last year of undergraduate school at Southeastern Louisiana University in the spring of 2015. I was asked to pick a movement that I was passionate about. I chose the Stop Child Sexual Abuse movement. This choice was largely due to the fact that I had just become aware of my son being sexually abused at the age of five. So, when I saw this viral video on Facebook I had to share some first hand knowledge that I encountered while completing my degree in Behavioral Science. Here is a review I wrote in response to a required reading I did in a class called "Population." 

Check out the viral Facebook video here.

Read the full article, I am referring to, from chapter 31 in the book entitled The Lesbian and Gay Studies Reader by clicking below.

Capitalism and Gay Identity

“The rights of young people are especially critical. The acceptance of children as dependents, as belonging to parents, is so deeply ingrained that we can scarcely imagine what it would mean to treat them as autonomous human beings, particularly in the realm of sexual expression and choice.” -John D'Emilio
Check out my response!


A Review and Reflection: Capitalism and Gay Identity
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Count the Ways: 25 Ways to Love Yourself

11/12/2017

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She stopped going out in public. She didn't want to be around people because when they whispered, laughed or looked her way, then proceeded to turn and speak with the companion accompanying them, she questioned herself... Were they talking about her? "Maybe, it's the fat hanging over the waits line of my jeans." or "Could it be my hair, it really looks a mess today." "Oh God, this outfit does look kind of cheap." She thought.

Does this remind you of someone? If so, then this is your sign. Take it for what it is. Do you even love yourself?

Why is it that we can be our own worst critic or what biblical text would call our own worst enemy. It seems we have no trouble in doing so, as a matter of fact, it's easy and at times we can go the extra mile for it? Wouldn't you say? However, this kind of thinking can lead to a lifetime of unfulfilled potential that is devoid of passion. I have a question to ask...

What does loving yourself really look like?

25 Ways to Love You More

I've been on my own personal journey the past few months that has lead me to question the love I genuinely have for myself. I believe many people ponder this idea, of putting or thinking of others first, as the ultimate standard that we should live up to in order to be decent human beings at the end of our lives. However, I believe this is the wrong perspective to take. Think of it this way, you have to work on yourself first, before you will ever be put into a position that allows you to think or act on a higher purpose for the blessings that success has given you. Doesn't that make sense, but most importantly doesn't it feel right? 

Most people expect love to be easy, but I want you to dive deeper in an effort to think of the last time you wholeheartedly loved someone other than yourself. Was it easy? Think about the things you had to pick your battles with, the sacrifices you made to support them, or the time and energy you had to put into developing the relationship. Now imagine yourself giving that same kind of effort to yourself. Have you truly been loving on you?

If you have any doubts right now, I want to help you sort it out, but most importantly I want to give you some information that can help you get 25 steps closer to putting a bit more love into yourself. 

1. Commit to your personal vision. What is your highest vision for yourself? What are the key steps you have to take in order to get there?

2. Believe in yourself. The first step to achieving your goals is to believe you can reach them. What limiting beliefs may be holding you back from cultivating the life you want? What can you do to change your current belief system.

3. Think and be positive. We all, from time to time, have negative thoughts that enter our conscience mind without warning. When a negative thought enters your mind immediately change that thought by thinking an opposite which is of course a positive thought. Repeat the positive thought to replace the negative thought should it arrive in your conscience mind again.

4. Live in the present moment. Life in the present is too precious to waste time thinking about the past and planning heavily for the future. If you do, you could risk enjoying your right now!

5. Have a sense of urgency.Treat yourself and your goals like you would treat a customer. Make your development a priority! Take planned out action to reach goals. 

6. Set boundaries. Boundaries are healthy and can help you reach goals by putting a halt to overextending yourself, which can in turn leave less time and energy for you to fuel your goals.
 
7. Focus on your goals. Take time out to write down your goals, then write out the steps you need to take in order to accomplish them. Plan your projects in a planner. 
 
8. Maintain or develop a growth mindset. Your mindset is so important in changing your habits, patterns and beliefs. Mindset is the key to development and attaining goals. 

9. Invest in yourself. Spend money to invest in your development. Take classes, join a mentorship program or get a coach. 



10. Eat Healthy.
11. Meditate. 
12. Read or listen to books.
13. Drink more water.
14. Exercise regularly. 
15. Take care of your skin.
16. Invest more care into your style and appearance.
17. Laugh more.
18. Be patient with yourself.
19. Let go of negativity.
 

20. Be kind to yourself.
21. Work on your spiritual development.
22. Cling to the good things in life.
23. Honor yourself.
24. Be more social.
25. Trust yourself. 

​
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Total Solar Eclipse

8/19/2017

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Image: An onlooker watches an annular solar eclipse from New Mexico. PHOTOGRAPH BY COLLEEN PINSKI, NATIONAL GEOGRAPHIC. 

If you follow astrology, I'm sure you've heard about the big event that's happening on Monday. On the 21st of August the 1st total solar eclipse to sweep through the United States in 99 years will be taking place. This is such an important event for America, but also for you! Eclipses shift destinies that can put you on a new path, which can be life changing and there is nothing to fear if you can stay in the present moment of your life.. 

The Universe wants to empower you to open up the door to love, creativity, liberation and freedom. Will you take it? This eclipse will be coupled with Leo energy which is centered around leadership and new beginnings. Leo is a fire sign and fire is associated with life purpose. This energy will effect each zodiac sign differently depending on their element: earth, wind, or water etc. However, this event is complicated because there are many other planets and signs at play. One being Mars coupled with Aries, that puts a lot of focus on relationships.

Stay happy, this energy is about healing! Meditate. Remember, focus on what you want in your life without distraction.

Later for now my pretties!

Happy Monday,
-AMA 

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Love in the Digital Age

10/7/2015

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Hi there my pretties! I've decided to take a day off from blogging the first Friday of every month. So, if you've missed me just know that I was thinking of you. (inserts smiley here) While I was away I had a conversation that led to questions about knowing what love is and how to recognize it when it shows up. First, lets face it! The landscape of love and relationships have changed quite a bit since the introduction of social media technology into the sphere of intimate personal connections. As a matter of fact, I met my husband on the all to well known social media mogul Facebook. It really was a chance encounter, but what's funny about this particular meeting is that it was predicated by an infamous physic astrologer whose name I won't mention here due to the controversy surrounding her.  

With that being said, I want everyone to understand that love is a choice, just like any other choice you make for your life. However, in order for it to work (the delusional "happily ever after") both parties must choose love and be committed to working out whatever obstacles that may (WILL) be presented along the journey of the relationship. And I will be the first to admit it... It's not easy!

We all know that saying, "Nothing easy is worth having." Well, the same is true for relationships. Every couple who gets married wants the 50 year anniversary kind of love. You know that love that amazes everyone in the room? Yeah, that! However, everyone does not make the cut because it's only possible if both parties are all in. A divorce is not worth having because it's easy. You never have to address your flaws or hold yourself accountable for your actions and ultimately you miss the opportunity to grow as a person. Walking away is easy. Staying is only for the strong.

I have learned that you should never go into a relationship with expectations. And this is not to say that you should take abuse from a partner; mental, verbal, physical or emotional. What I am saying is, you should understand the very basics of your love, friend or business interest before you enter into a relationship with anyone.

Where do you see the relationship going? What are you seeking from the partnership? Do they meet an overwhelming amount of your preferences? (hobbies, lifestyle, interests) These are not expectations! They are qualifying factors for a future relationship. This is very important to remember and understand. Once you get this, everything else is easy. You just go with the flow! Address challenges as they come, while remembering to eliminate expectations of a specific outcome.

​For example, you and your partner have been at odds for a week and the two of you finally resolved the disagreement where you proclaimed your love and your partner does not. This does not mean that your partner does not love you! Or for example, you text your partner and it takes them over an hour to respond. Again, this does not mean your partner does not care about you. It means they were busy and as soon as they had time to reply, they did! Here's another good one. They liked a picture on Instagram of another attractive individual. This does not mean they want to start a relationship with that person! Remember, they are also in the relationship putting in the work needed to insure a lasting partnership. Actions speak louder than words. So please, give them credit and be patient with their process.

Hope this helps...

Take care of you,
-AMA  

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A Few Links I Love

9/30/2015

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Its been pretty hectic in Louisiana for the past two weeks; jammed packed with my husband being in town, working two jobs, preparing devil eggs for a friend's baby shower, making sure my son is on track, along with  job fairs and job interviews. Whew... I am just catching my breath here, but this only marks the beginning of the journey I am about to take. And I am really excited about it! Hope can be a real game changer. It can override fear and this knowledge is truly a beautiful thing. So many great opportunities can happen when you cancel out fear and replace it with optimism and hope. I am undoubtedly blessed and I am extremely thankful. I have noticed in myself and also in others that we, at most times, try to fit into or live the status quo. However, what is really heartbreaking is the fact that people miss their blessings trying to fit in with the world and the ideas it creates. I have let go of what I think I want in a career in order to accept what the Creator has for me because I trust my God. I have realized, in this moment, that I am more than what I do. 

In good spirit I want to share a few links I love. I hope you enjoy them!

Take care of you,
Alicia


Susan Miller's Astrology Zone I read Susan's forecasts and blog several times a month. I absolutely love her attitude and her spirit. She is so uplifting and motivational! (www.susanmiller.com)

Kayture I found Kristina Bazan by accident. She is the creative mind and founder of the Kayture Fashion Blog. Not only is she beautiful. She is impressively young. I love her work! (www.kayture.com)

Super Vaidosa Camila Coelho is a Brizilian native living in New York who I found on Instagram a few years ago. She blogs about beauty, fashion and fitness. She is truly fun to watch, being that she creates a lot of YouTube videos for her followers! (www.camilacoelho.com)

Studio 404 Angela is a graphic artist who is the editor and designer of Studio 404 and co-owner of a brand strategies studio called Sevenality. The image in this blog post is some of her work! (www.studio-404.com)
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The Connection to the Sky: Is to Know Thyself

9/16/2015

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I have always been infatuated with the sky. As a child I stared directly at the sun knowing that it could extremely damage my eyesight. The sun produced a feeling inside of me that I cannot quite explain. That ball of fire somehow reached down into my soul to touch something I still am unable to fully comprehend, but I know that there is something magnificent dwelling there. I would stare at floating clouds and trees swaying in the breeze, especially at the beginning of autumn, just shortly after the fall equinox. In those moments I knew I could do anything. My connection to the sky and nature was undoubtedly strong. To this day, nothing can ever taint it. 

It’s funny that I can remember my introduction to astronomy like it was yesterday. I was in the 6th grade. And what I remember most is an assigned project that required me to pick my favorite constellation and write a short essay about it. If you know anything about constellations then you know that they are associated with mythology, which is a set of stories, traditions, or beliefs linked with a distinctive group of people or history of events, originating naturally or deliberately. My admiration stood with the constellation Cassiopeia, known as the lady in the chair. Cassiopeia was, the mother of Andromeda, according to Greek mythology, the Queen of Ethiopeia. I was so passionate about this constellation to the point where I was imaging myself to be her. I am known for having a huge imagination, for which I have sorely been criticized for. However, my imagination was also highly praised and even encouraged to be further developed by one person in particular, Ms. Benita Little, who showed me how high my talents could take me if only I disciplined myself to work harder. She helped me achieve recognition during my 3rd year of grade school in 1993, by winning 1st place in a Young Author's Contest, an experience I will never forget.  I am writing all of this to say that my love for the sun, moon, stars and the universe lured me into loving Astrology by the time I was in high school as a result of a book called The Secret Language of Birthdays purchased by my mother. She is unaware that I have quietly horded this book for years now. Practically, since the moment I first explored its pages... Shhh! I have no intention of ever returning it to her… 

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When I am passionate about something I always share what I have discovered with others. So, in acknowledging that, many people who know me can tell you that they have seen the infamous birthday book. My infatuations only grow from here, into a deep sometimes intense study of the lost art of Astrology; which was extremely popular during the 3rd millennium BC up until the 17th century and is now making a strong come back. Therefore, in researching this art form (once considered a scholarly tradition) I went through great lengths to hunted down my exact time of birth. For years, up until my 18th birthday, I did not have an official birth certificate. Instead, my christening documents were used in its place. When I finally obtained a birth certificate the time of my live birth was unknown by my mother. I contacted Lakeside Hospital, where I was born, in 2009 for archived information regarding my birth that turned out to be a success. The records even included an ink print of my little baby foot! 

I use Astrology to understand who I was, who I am and who I am becoming. Its study has had a very powerful and almost spiritual effect in my life. At times, when I feel the need for console, I turn to the stars; it’s like my own personal on call life coach/therapist. Astrology is a science that can be indispensable to those who can learn to appreciate it. In my unique birth chart My Sun sign and my Moon sign is in Virgo with Capricorn rising at 20 degrees. Knowing all three of these aspects of your particular birth chart is important in order to understand your relation to the cosmos. Once you find out your rising sign, you would read your horoscope for your Sun sign (which usually answers the question “what’s your sign?”) along with the horoscope (or forecast) for your rising sign (the zodiac sign with its degree ascending, on the eastern horizon, at the specific time and location of your birth). Basically, you should be reading two different horoscopes per month. If you know the time of your birth and would like to find out your sun, moon and rising sign click here.


What’s so above, is so below

Later for now pretties,
-AMA


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Thirty, Flirty and Thriving: Cherchez La Femme

9/11/2015

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Picture (image by Derks Works) from hartandhoney.com
Do you know that movie, 13 Going on 30? Yeah! Well, do you remember that part when Jenna exclaims to her mother that she does not want to be thirteen, but she wants to be like those people; while pointing to a picture in Poise magazine? "I want to be thirty, flirty and thriving!" Believe it or not, I think that scene pretty much captures and sums up how I felt when I actually turned thirty.

I think there's this myth surrounding the idea of turning 30, that it's the age when you figure it all out, when you have it all together, and you have the vision with the resources to not just dream, but to act it out. This was not the case for me. However, I have always considered myself to be a late bloomer. Most people see that as a bad thing, but not me. I have learned to master my beautiful flaw. And there's a possibility that it's not a flaw at all, but a divine gift given to me by God upon my birth. I prefer to think of it in this way!

2012 is a year I will never forget, and let me tell you why. I not only made thirty that year, but it was the year of a massive mental breakdown. I was diagnosed with clinical depression in March of 2012, after seeking professional help from a Psychiatrist. Due to that diagnoses, I began being treated with Viibry, an anti-depressant at a 20mg dose. However, I was still experiencing an up and down effect of my mood that led to the dose of the medication being gradually increased over a 9 month period to 40mg. Once the maximum dose was reached I continually experienced a loss of focus and concentration. Vyvanse was then added to my treatment which further led to serious complications of total exhaustion and deep depression. It was my intention at the time to improve my medical condition and succeed in the progression of my Bachelor's degree. These unforeseen events impelled me to retroactively withdraw from Southeastern Louisiana University (the university I was attending) in the fall semester of 2012; then take a semester off (which turned into a year and a half). I call this the year of the FALL. And only the ground was there to catch me. 

In June of 2014 I finally re-enrolled at Southeastern. By this time I had decided to end all medication that had been prescribed to me, including the relationship with my Psychiatrist. Some people asked me why I was wasting my time going back to school, but I knew why I was doing it and I had to finish what I started in order to feel right within. By May of 2015, I was a graduate. Now I'm on a totally new journey. I am not even close to where I think I should be, yet I still have hope that I will reach the highest possibilities of my goals and dreams. To all those turning thirty this year, keep your head high, this is only the beginning!

Take care of you,
Alicia

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Not Far From the Singing Oak

9/4/2015

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I found a spot not far from the Singing Oak, near Big Lake and the Wave of the World in City Park. Once I settled down onto the grass under a huge live oak tree; I began to take in the scenery. There was a cool fresh feeling to the day. That feeling right before the wonderful days of fall. My favorite time of the year by the way. And no, it’s not just because I was born a week before the September Equinox (the beginning of the fall season). However, it is a plus none the less!

I fell in love with fall because of the cool windy weather and the crisp smell of colorful autumn leaves falling from trees. It’s the perfect weather for joy rides with the windows down, the sunroof back, and your favorite beats blaring. The season for counting down to my dearest holiday of the year. Christmas, where you can give until it almost hurts. While on the subject, I absolutely adore giving! And the fact that you can give so freely without people visualizing sucker written across your forehead is weirdly liberating for me… Go figure! It’s free rein when you are in the season of generosity. This is the time of year that marks the most rewarding and joyful of family interaction that is very important to me, where we all come together, plan, cook, and share our cherished experiences from the year passing. Fall, I love you…

I came here, not far from the Singing Oak, so that I could reflect on where I have been and to focus on where I want to go. Reflection is a necessity in life, but it is also an important part of goal setting. First, you have to understand where you have been. Next, you must find out what you have learned. And finally, you need to know what it is you want to take away with you in order to grow in a more radiant, yet fruitful direction. I always reflect before I set any new goal. It helps me to be clear and focused on what is next. There should consistently be a “what’s next” mentality. Where are you trying to go? What goals are you trying to achieve? How can you make those goals happen?

“What’s next?”



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Old Friendships

8/26/2015

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In my past I was a people pleaser. In a sense I still love to please others. However, I have now learned to form boundaries regarding how far I will go to please my family, friends, and even associates. 

I have noticed that with my change from being the predictable people pleaser, to more balanced give and take relationships, there has been huge impacts on former friendships. My intuition tells me that old friends may view me as stuck up or a real bitch, but in fact that is not the case. I am no longer the person I use to be yet my heart still beats the same. 

I still desire the happiness of my friends (former/current) and family. I still wish the best for every last one of them. I am a very forgiving person. I never forget anyone from my former life that played a significant role in my past experience. How could I? I love to love people. I'm just not as trusting as I once was and actually I am working on that particular aspect of myself which has developed over the years. I have come to the conclusion that it is time to close the chapter on my past life and mark it as history. Who I use to be and who I once shared myself with are gone. I cannot expect for old friends to understand who I am becoming now because honestly they know of a person who does not exist anymore, a former self. I am not sure where signals were crossed or when I began to be distrustful of the motives of others. I know it was a series of events, one after the other, that led to the current situation of old friendships. 

The ending is a bitter sweet one, where you remember the good times and try to bring closure to what may have gone wrong or could have been. What I do know is that whatever transpired between what I believed to be solid friendships, led to the dismemberment of bonds that once mattered. Now, I can only count one and I have learned that there are no guarantees of a lifetime membership to BFF. Maybe we may reconnect in a future time and place, but as for now I’ll remember what I once shared in “the sweet land of fellowship” with old friends as we walked together.
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    Alicia M. Burks

    "I feel absolutely challenged in just being myself, yet building my life on a foundation of excellence."

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