Worthy: If I Could Just Find Someone to Love Me

You deserve to be alive, to be loved and to be cared for; to feel anything less is wickedness. It’s always very painful when others don’t see your worth. Some may even pray you don’t know your worth, so they can pay as little as possible to own your time, attention and affection. They could even try to deprecate your value by saying things like; “You’re not even that pretty, smart, kind or important.” So, it is no surprise that the leading cause of ill health and disability throughout the world is mental illness. Depression, is in fact one of the top mental illness’s associated with American Society; due to low self-worth. Why are we living in a culture fueled by low self-worth? The simple answer, because that’s what we were taught.  ​

Worth is the absolute feeling of usefulness or importance; as in, to the world, to a person or for a particular purpose. Your worth does not have to be justified. However unfortunate, having value of equal or greater importance, as compared to others, is a common theme in American culture. It’s called competition or nicely put, competitive advantage. Your self-worth then becomes tided to the conditions of your accomplishments, material possessions, status, relationships, money and family. This is the social world’s way of proving to others that you are worthy of the good that you desire. The love that you desire. The attention that you desire. The opportunities that you desire.
Most people have developed the bad habit of tying their self-worth to things outside of themselves. Have you even heard of or listened to the highly gifted, motivational speaker, Eric Thomas? He is one of the highest paid motivational speakers in the world. If you let him tell you, he’ll contributed his success at doing what he loves to his powerful “why.”

At a motivational event publish on YouTube back in November of 2019 under the title “Save Yourself”, Eric Thomas is on stage confessing that his wife had gotten sick with a chronic illness, meaning she would have to live with her sickness for the rest of her life and she didn’t even cry about it. However, when the doctor tells her that she has to take the next 3 to 4 months off from work for testing, a tear streams down her face. Confused the doctor says, “I told you, you had MS and you didn’t cry. I told you, you had to take off from work and you cry. What, you don’t have insurance?” Eric’s wife replies, “No, we have insurance.” Eric then admits on stage that his wife’s job is like her identity. His wife’s job, was tied to her self-worth, even though the stress from it was causing her health to deteriorate. When self-worth is tied to things outside ourselves and we believe we don’t meet those standards, one tends to become self-critical, depressed, shameful and/or even anxious. To mask these emotions, some individuals may begin to abuse substances like drugs, alcohol, tobacco, food, and sex because the pain of feeling unworthy is just too much to bear.  ​

However, in all honesty these feelings are not yours to carry. These feelings are the “social world’s” standard of “what” and “who” they think you should be. The social world began to program you from the exit of your mother’s womb, on the date of your birth, of who and what you should be through the use of advertisements (buy this to be loved, to be accepted, to succeed), in school through your education (based on grades and test scores), through your parents (if you would just make the honor roll maybe they would love you more) and possibly even through emotionally, mentally or physically abusive relationships (making you question your own person-hood). You must know that you are worthy to be here, to be alive, to be loved and to be cared for. You were born worthy. You were worthy before you were born. Let go of this idea, that if you could just find someone to love you, then you would feel good enough. ​

Be unconditional in your self-worth. If you could cultivate the ability to cope and persist even when life does not go your way, you would dare to do amazing things. However, when you don’t know who you are and what you are worth, you will sell yourself at a discount. Let’s think about a luxury brand, for example, Louis Vuitton. Why do you think Louis Vuitton never goes on sale? Because the brand knows what it’s worth. Because it cost what it cost and they are not trying to get the average person to buy them. It’s a luxury brand, if you’ve got the money for Louis Vuitton, you get Louis Vuitton. It’s not going on sell, because it was never meant for everybody! Remember self-worth is not what you look like, what clothes you wear, what you drive or how many followers you have on social media. Self-worth is your intrinsic value. ​

We all have the same level of intrinsic value. When God made us, he did not put our value in our flesh (the physical), he put the value in our spirit.  In Genesis 1, God created man in his own image and likeness. He created them masculine and feminine. Then in Genesis 2, God “formed” man from the dirt of the Earth and blew into his nostrils the breath of life. God made man and then God formed man. Man became a living spirit in the physical world. Our body is borrowed from the dirt of the Earth; from dust we came into this physical reality and unto dust we shall return.  My spirit, your spirit cannot be created or destroyed because it already exists. It’s your intrinsic value. Think about it, you can cremate a body and it will turn to dust, yet your soul can never turn into something it never was in the first place. It was made in the “image” of God! Your soul, your spirit. Looks just like God, meaning your spirit is like God. ​

How valuable would someone be if they were created in the image of an omniscient, omnipresent, omnipotent God? How powerful would that person be? Well, that’s you! That’s your worth. That’s what you bring to the Earth whether you’ve got money or not, whether you’re good looking or not, whether you have a good job or not. You may have found your worthiness in who wants you, who loves you, who accepts you. Yet, the key is to find your worth and your value in God. You are valuable. You are intrinsically valuable. ​

Most people are looking for the answers outside of themselves, and just know that they are never going to find them because most people don’t know who they are. If you ask the average person who they are, they’ll recite their name, but really. Who are you? If a person begins to study that, (the self) and look for the answer, they’ll find it. You are a spiritual being with an advanced intellect in a physical body. We are the only creatures on Earth who can say that we are made in the image of God. However, our lack of self-awareness will lock us into the physical world. Where we allow things outside of ourselves to control us.  ​

You can spend a lifetime reacting to life or you could decide to live life “today” instead. It starts with knowing you are worthy. You have always been worthy; and you will always be worthy. Stop conditioning your worth to acting like everyone else around you because statistically 95% of the population have never lived the life they’ve wanted. Don’t tie your worth to the need to fit in. You were never created too. You were not created to be like anyone else. It is and never will be about fitting in. Your worth and value is intrinsic to your uniqueness. Know that the biggest part of who you are, the world will never see, because it is non-physical. What we see in the world is just the physical manifestation of our higher-selves, our Godlike-self.  ​

Alicia Burks

Alicia Burks is a Spiritual Teacher, Healer and Mindset Coach who expresses her talent and gifts through energy, alchemy and like a magician, wheels the beauty of the physical world to serve humanity.